Oscars Part One

So the Oscars were on Sunday... I unfortunately was on my death bed with a combination of alcohol posioning and the flu (if anyone ever suggests Lemon Drop shots as a cure to stave off a panic attack about your job - do not, I repeat NOT, follow through. It is an awful idea). So since I didn't watch the Oscars or the Red Carpet shows, I spent much of Monday (still sick) and Tuesday night (couldn't sleep again) looking at photos online. So you all know - I've been putting off watching my beloved Fashion Police so I can give an unbiased opinion. It's been painful not to see Kelly O and Joan Rivers yet...

Let's start with the worst first so I can forget about them immediately. There were so many to choose from that I automatically excludes wives/girlfriends who were only there as dates and Helena Bonham Carter (she will never be on a best dressed list, so why bother?)

This dress is boring, her hair looks matronly. Overall, it's got the appeal of Cruella DeVille.
Sharon, we know you can do better

This dress looks as stiff and uncomfortable as her Botoxed forhead. The beading on the bodice points towards her hips and the awful draping at the hips reinforces it. Not a good look for her.

I actually love this gown - the sequins, the color, all of it. My issue is with her stylist. First, the jade necklace/bracelet don't go with the navy blue gown. Second, you DON'T wear a necklace with this neckline. Third, you're hair should have been styled up with long earrings.

This is just hideous. The sleeves (?) or maybe cutouts look awkward. Not as awkward as the cameo-style/shape thingy going on in the bodice. Givenchy missed their mark BIG time on this one. Surprisingly, the color isn't bad. Normally pale blonds shouldn't wear pastel/baby pinks because it washes them out.

So many things wrong with this dress: You don't have the bust to warrant straps - wear strapless. The satin and cut of the dress make her look pregnant (not a good thing if your, ya know, not pregnant). The assymetrical tulle hem is outdated like a prom dress. Lastly, this is the Oscars and you wear basic black? Step up your game!

Now that I've gotten the cranky out of my system, on to the Best Dressed:

Natalie Portman and her stylist can do no wrong in my eyes. I love everything about this, from the big earrings (and no necklace) to the clutch and the shoes.

I'm not crazy about the weird hem/train on the gown but it works on her. Lots of sparkle for Oscar night and I think she looks gorgeous

Holy smokes Jennifer Hudson! Her body is amazing and this dress emphasizes how hard she's worked. Tiny, tiny waist accentuated with the ruching and the plunged neckline/halter top show of great boobs and shoulders. Too bad it photographs orange - it was a really great shade of red which looked great against her skin.

I've heard many people hated this dress but I loved it. Not the best picture of it but it was custom-made - white lace on a gold underlay. I think the collar could've been taken down a bit and the shoulders tailored a little more and it would've been my favorite.

Dame Helen Mirren is a goddess! I hope I look half as good as she does when I'm her age.



I'm trying to put together another post of the after-party gowns/outfits but it's much harder to find photos of those. And the ones I have found are all on the worst dressed side of it.

In other news, I am seriously considering starting my own business as a personal stylist/shopper. Part time until I can get a big enough clientele to quit my regular job. They say to do what you love, right? Well insurance makes me miserable so... What do you guys think? What would be reasonable to charge - per outing, per hour, per event?